War and warriors and their return and the thought, once began never an end. The struggle once over begins again. Too late to forget, too soon not to remember, you simply struggle into the night what days beg to forget. Been there. Lived it. And wish you like all that went and returned, to prevail for it is our right to do so. Not right by omission or right by God but right for the simple notion we have earned it. That is what matters. You the warrior are tomorrows poet, don't you ever forget it.
Thank you Roman. And yes, ever the bond, the brother in arms.
PS. Not long after my first dinner on the day of my return my mother took me aside and asked the exact question you were asked. I reacted according to instinct. Like I did for many occasions subsequent to that moment. I avoided the truth. Little did I realize the death had become me. Aside from the poor souls in the field, but the one sitting among the others passing the roast beef and mash potatoes.
Whew. Heavy, Eric. Impossible to appreciate just how heavy unless you’ve been there. Thanks for leaving comments here. And you always got a place to bring your thoughts.
I often think back to a book I read in school, Jill Lepore’s The Name of War. At one point she argues one of the reasons we continue to wage war is because the realities of it are incommunicable. There are no words to describe it. No movie scripts that “nail it.” We’ve gotten better over time but we still miss the mark. I think she’s right, until I remember Tim O’Brien. And now you!
A beautiful piece of writing, Roman. Having had a friend that served I’ve often wondered at the uncomfortable nature of this question and how it lingers.
This one especially, hit: “The war starts on the streets of Iraq, goes to the valleys of Afghanistan, sails the ocean to Washington, then settles into a home. Lastly it makes ashes inside a man.”
So many parts of this were evocative and powerful. Thanks for sharing.
I can't conceive of asking someone if they killed anyone. I have known veterans, police and EMT people, doctors. I usually let them talk. You are so good at writing about difficult situations in a way that caring people can try to understand.
No. I have never been to to the Army Navy game. And it's kind of surprising since my cousin is the head equipment manager for Navy, I have a niece who is in her second year in the naval academy and two sisters who are Army veterans. As big a sports fan as I am, I have little interest in college football. I guess because of the hypocrisy of the NCAA.
One of the most beautiful things about this world is other people. And one of the ugliest things about this world is also other people. Sometimes, the questions people ask tell us which group to put them into instantly. I like when they make it so easy. This is an incredibly moving piece.
Don't know what took me so long Roman, but I'm here and impressed as hell. Julia Perrodin, who I love to read, gave me some glowing reports and I followed her here. A sincere thank you for your service to this country. - Jim
Brilliantly delivered intimate view. I'm conflicted in response - the writing is superb. A "throaty" cavern was unexpected but will be remembered. Same with other similes, metaphors, adjectives, and use of sentence length.
I've worked in Information Technology for over 30 years. After starting in programming, my role expanded to business and systems analysis, then managing complex integrated large system development working with acess to privileged information. It's exposed me to a lot of shady practices, manipulative strategies, and less than ethical motives as I had to find out what knowledge the leaders wanted from raw data. This involved getting up close and personal with the origins of facts. Biomedical, political, tech, legal, finance - there are so many clients doing things most people would be appaled to discover. A lot I can't write about. When I've tried using companies no longer in businesses, or citing the horrible consequences of some short-term strategic gains, I've found it nearly impossible. There's too much explanation required.
"How does a computer manufacturer end up creating a toxic waste site where kids will get sick after a public school is built there?" "How does a biomedical company hide implanting faulty biomedical devices?" "Why should I care about Taiwan and China's conflict and whether we're building semiconductor plants? TikTok is good, multiple authentication in cybersecurity is bad,. Volt Typhoon is when batteries arc."
You get the point - some exceptional experiences don't lend themselves to easy writing or discussions. What's "need to know," polite, and advisable when wandering into those weeds?. But maybe you've shown me a way by using more creative language and structure.
And no, I won't think out loud on every post, I promise. I'm focused on the overall motives of large systems that have trickle-down consequences for real people. If a bit of long-term planning and analysis of predictable outcomes had been applied, so much of what hurts us could have been avoided. All the same emotional drives within each person, each two-party communication, and up the line to those making some of the most significant decisions are based on ownership of resources, ego, influence, and ultimately - what they think power means.
Yeah, sorry - I'll stop.
Thanks for your service, sacrifice, and sharing it so poignantly.
Also. In a way this reminds of my upcoming novel, 20XX. The way technology has impacted our society and perception of reality in metaphysics. Also, the way our society has become something of a technocracy.
Ugh - I've been choking on Project 2025 research, Christian Nationalist agendas, and the technocrats behind some of the movements. When striving for money, money, and influence is no longer a satisfying challenge, some of these billionaires amuse themselves by betting on how the masses will react., But the get-rich-quick gang isn't known for long-term strategic planning AND predicting and caring about the consequencees of a quick fix of excitement. They may forget that people aren't datasets and may not respond to painful stimuli logically. Applying the framework of logical tech systems to human behavior is misguided hubris. But, it's thee "thought game" bored techs play when they have more of a relationship with arithmetic than emotional connections. The polarization and shorteened attention spans we created are crriminal, IMHO.
I hate writing tech anymore, but how to break out of the echo chamber is a piece I've beeen promising to do for a long time. Simple, 5-minute step by step for social media.
Actually, Patricia, I don't want you to stop. I find this conversation fascinating. It also sounds like you have a whole wealth of knowledge to share. I think it's our responsibility to dish out truth. I would love to see you tackle this in microcosms. It sounds like there's a whole hell of a lot and why not make the most of the content at your disposal? Thanks for writing this. -R
Thanks Roman, That was kind of you. Your earlier writing gave me the feeling you're working with universal conflicts and vaseline mirrors to illuminate social issues without clobbering specific groups. That's attractive to me.
My conundrum is a desire to leave something worthwhile behind, but too much material and a fast-churning mind full of disparite ideas that all want their say.
I used to live in Northern California betweeen the Sierra Nevada mountains and the Sacramento valley. It was similar to parts of Oregon and most anywhere in the western US. Snow in the winter, rattlesnakes in the summer. It's called Gold Rush country. Tourists can pan for gold and discover souveniers. But sometimes the snowpack is too dense and can wipe out those streams and rivers. The San Juaquin valley where most of the produce grows worries about flooding. Normally precious gold nuggets add sharp heavy bullets to draining bathwater.
I think that's where I am now with writing - back in N. CA trying to decide which side of the mountain to descend from. Dangerous nights with too-thin air grow longer. It's time to decide what to abandon and what will help forge a path to fruits, vegetables, livestock, and people.
. I've been pondering what to say and how to say it for far too long.
:)
A steady diet of pine nuts may be good for creativity, but I think it's time to add more balance, focus on the middle ground, and get disciplined.
Or... I'm having fun switching away from words when they fail me and getting clever with short videos, GIFs, etc. We'll see.
Thanks for sharing this, Roman. I'm sure it wasn't easy. ❤️
War and warriors and their return and the thought, once began never an end. The struggle once over begins again. Too late to forget, too soon not to remember, you simply struggle into the night what days beg to forget. Been there. Lived it. And wish you like all that went and returned, to prevail for it is our right to do so. Not right by omission or right by God but right for the simple notion we have earned it. That is what matters. You the warrior are tomorrows poet, don't you ever forget it.
Eric Miller
Infantry
Viet Nam 68-69
Eric, thank you for your service, a sentiment you should have heard back then, I appreciate you and you are my brother-in-arms.
Thank you Roman. And yes, ever the bond, the brother in arms.
PS. Not long after my first dinner on the day of my return my mother took me aside and asked the exact question you were asked. I reacted according to instinct. Like I did for many occasions subsequent to that moment. I avoided the truth. Little did I realize the death had become me. Aside from the poor souls in the field, but the one sitting among the others passing the roast beef and mash potatoes.
Whew. Heavy, Eric. Impossible to appreciate just how heavy unless you’ve been there. Thanks for leaving comments here. And you always got a place to bring your thoughts.
I often think back to a book I read in school, Jill Lepore’s The Name of War. At one point she argues one of the reasons we continue to wage war is because the realities of it are incommunicable. There are no words to describe it. No movie scripts that “nail it.” We’ve gotten better over time but we still miss the mark. I think she’s right, until I remember Tim O’Brien. And now you!
A beautiful piece of writing, Roman. Having had a friend that served I’ve often wondered at the uncomfortable nature of this question and how it lingers.
This one especially, hit: “The war starts on the streets of Iraq, goes to the valleys of Afghanistan, sails the ocean to Washington, then settles into a home. Lastly it makes ashes inside a man.”
So many parts of this were evocative and powerful. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for reading, Ilan.
I can't conceive of asking someone if they killed anyone. I have known veterans, police and EMT people, doctors. I usually let them talk. You are so good at writing about difficult situations in a way that caring people can try to understand.
Bob, you’re a good man. Have I already asked you if you’ve been to an Army Navy game?
No. I have never been to to the Army Navy game. And it's kind of surprising since my cousin is the head equipment manager for Navy, I have a niece who is in her second year in the naval academy and two sisters who are Army veterans. As big a sports fan as I am, I have little interest in college football. I guess because of the hypocrisy of the NCAA.
One of the most beautiful things about this world is other people. And one of the ugliest things about this world is also other people. Sometimes, the questions people ask tell us which group to put them into instantly. I like when they make it so easy. This is an incredibly moving piece.
What a heartbreaking yet somehow beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing.
Don't know what took me so long Roman, but I'm here and impressed as hell. Julia Perrodin, who I love to read, gave me some glowing reports and I followed her here. A sincere thank you for your service to this country. - Jim
Jim, I appreciate you and I’m glad you found your way here. Thank you for your gratitude.
Actually speechless
Some people don’t know any veterans at all in their lives, and it shows.
Brilliantly delivered intimate view. I'm conflicted in response - the writing is superb. A "throaty" cavern was unexpected but will be remembered. Same with other similes, metaphors, adjectives, and use of sentence length.
I've worked in Information Technology for over 30 years. After starting in programming, my role expanded to business and systems analysis, then managing complex integrated large system development working with acess to privileged information. It's exposed me to a lot of shady practices, manipulative strategies, and less than ethical motives as I had to find out what knowledge the leaders wanted from raw data. This involved getting up close and personal with the origins of facts. Biomedical, political, tech, legal, finance - there are so many clients doing things most people would be appaled to discover. A lot I can't write about. When I've tried using companies no longer in businesses, or citing the horrible consequences of some short-term strategic gains, I've found it nearly impossible. There's too much explanation required.
"How does a computer manufacturer end up creating a toxic waste site where kids will get sick after a public school is built there?" "How does a biomedical company hide implanting faulty biomedical devices?" "Why should I care about Taiwan and China's conflict and whether we're building semiconductor plants? TikTok is good, multiple authentication in cybersecurity is bad,. Volt Typhoon is when batteries arc."
You get the point - some exceptional experiences don't lend themselves to easy writing or discussions. What's "need to know," polite, and advisable when wandering into those weeds?. But maybe you've shown me a way by using more creative language and structure.
And no, I won't think out loud on every post, I promise. I'm focused on the overall motives of large systems that have trickle-down consequences for real people. If a bit of long-term planning and analysis of predictable outcomes had been applied, so much of what hurts us could have been avoided. All the same emotional drives within each person, each two-party communication, and up the line to those making some of the most significant decisions are based on ownership of resources, ego, influence, and ultimately - what they think power means.
Yeah, sorry - I'll stop.
Thanks for your service, sacrifice, and sharing it so poignantly.
Also. In a way this reminds of my upcoming novel, 20XX. The way technology has impacted our society and perception of reality in metaphysics. Also, the way our society has become something of a technocracy.
Ugh - I've been choking on Project 2025 research, Christian Nationalist agendas, and the technocrats behind some of the movements. When striving for money, money, and influence is no longer a satisfying challenge, some of these billionaires amuse themselves by betting on how the masses will react., But the get-rich-quick gang isn't known for long-term strategic planning AND predicting and caring about the consequencees of a quick fix of excitement. They may forget that people aren't datasets and may not respond to painful stimuli logically. Applying the framework of logical tech systems to human behavior is misguided hubris. But, it's thee "thought game" bored techs play when they have more of a relationship with arithmetic than emotional connections. The polarization and shorteened attention spans we created are crriminal, IMHO.
I hate writing tech anymore, but how to break out of the echo chamber is a piece I've beeen promising to do for a long time. Simple, 5-minute step by step for social media.
Actually, Patricia, I don't want you to stop. I find this conversation fascinating. It also sounds like you have a whole wealth of knowledge to share. I think it's our responsibility to dish out truth. I would love to see you tackle this in microcosms. It sounds like there's a whole hell of a lot and why not make the most of the content at your disposal? Thanks for writing this. -R
Thanks Roman, That was kind of you. Your earlier writing gave me the feeling you're working with universal conflicts and vaseline mirrors to illuminate social issues without clobbering specific groups. That's attractive to me.
My conundrum is a desire to leave something worthwhile behind, but too much material and a fast-churning mind full of disparite ideas that all want their say.
I used to live in Northern California betweeen the Sierra Nevada mountains and the Sacramento valley. It was similar to parts of Oregon and most anywhere in the western US. Snow in the winter, rattlesnakes in the summer. It's called Gold Rush country. Tourists can pan for gold and discover souveniers. But sometimes the snowpack is too dense and can wipe out those streams and rivers. The San Juaquin valley where most of the produce grows worries about flooding. Normally precious gold nuggets add sharp heavy bullets to draining bathwater.
I think that's where I am now with writing - back in N. CA trying to decide which side of the mountain to descend from. Dangerous nights with too-thin air grow longer. It's time to decide what to abandon and what will help forge a path to fruits, vegetables, livestock, and people.
. I've been pondering what to say and how to say it for far too long.
:)
A steady diet of pine nuts may be good for creativity, but I think it's time to add more balance, focus on the middle ground, and get disciplined.
Or... I'm having fun switching away from words when they fail me and getting clever with short videos, GIFs, etc. We'll see.
I’m here for it.