32 Comments

This felt like someone was reading a file stored away in my brain. And then that clobbering at the end. Sad but so beautiful.

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Thanks for reading, Bryan. We all gotta go sometime, but that doesn’t make it any easier. As we grow we see the lives of our parents and grandparents with new clarity, I think. At least I do.

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Roman, just a terrific piece once again. I'll just leave you with something that relates I think and it's the best sentence Thomas Wolfe probably ever wrote. "Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man." Btw, if you've never read You Can't Go Home Again by Wolfe, I highly recommend. Thanks again for a great post. - Jim

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Would you believe I’ve read no Thomas Wolfe? Would you recommend that as a starting point?

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I personally think he was downright brilliant. I've read all four of his novels but he has short stories and other pieces as well. I would suggest starting with You Can't Go Home Again or Look Homeward, Angel - his smashing debut novel in 1929. Died of TB very young, before he was forty, I believe. You literally can't miss with him, but I'm extremely biased. - Jim

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Thank you, Jim. I will start there. :)

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"People always trying to fix you with their words when you just want someone to sit in the mud beside you."

So true. So true.

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17 hrs agoLiked by Roman Newell

And how human it is, and how painfully familiar and deeply experienced in the soul...

This touching read leaves traces in the soul... a read, that gives not only colors and shapes, but also senses and everything that is needed for an experienced memento.

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Loved this on so many levels, Roman. Absolutely hooked by the opening. Read through it three times (so far). Thanks for the nourishment!

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I appreciate the good word, Eric!

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another breathless read, wonderful.

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Thanks, Sahara.

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Beautiful memory of someone in your life providing a positive impact. I never had a grandfather, well technically, I must have but they were both dead before I was born. I envy grandfather stories because of that. As a kid and young adult, I created an imaginary world where my grandfather would take me to smoky bars where I'd meet all kinds of characters. Or fishing or driving in his lap while he let me hold the steering wheel. I am happy that you had a good one that was a real life version of my imaginary one.

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Me too, Bob. Me too.

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“The alienation that occurs when you go really far away and try to come back.”

My husband is in the Army and I’ve had to leave “home” several times in my life for other reasons. We’ve talked about how Noah Kahan’s song “The View Between Villages” feels like this. 💔

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I’ll have to check out your song selection.

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Oct 8Liked by Roman Newell

Such a hearty read. I'm convinced us nomad kids develop a third eye or something

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Amazingly written as always. Reminds me strongly of something I heard Genaral Roméo Dallaire say in an interview, he was explaining how after his court-martial (which he had to face for refusing to just observe the slaughter in Rwanda and instead disobeying direct orders and saving, like, tens of thousands of people) he tried to live his life again in Canada but he couldn’t. So he ended up moving back to Rwanda. He said something like ‘that’s the only place where life still happens’.

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Powerful anecdote, Lidija. Thanks for sharing with me.

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I’m at a loss for words. I relate to so much of all of this.

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Oct 8Liked by Roman Newell

This piece hit. I’ve read most of your stuff and loved it but this. I dunno it is so utterly human. So beautiful and tragic and real.

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Thanks Rebecca. When you taking me to Powell’s?

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Oct 8Liked by Roman Newell

Right after we knock one off on Stark and 13th

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Oct 7Liked by Roman Newell

Brilliant, so touching and heartfelt. Thank you for this authentic read!

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Thanks for reading!

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“You can stare all day at the sky but that won’t bring him back” is one of my favorite song lyrics ever. You pretty much said it here.

Beautifully written.

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Who hasn’t felt that.

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I had to come back here to see if you replied. I don’t know why I’m not getting notifications.

I feel like what I said was harsh. I think what I meant is, you can’t bring him back but by writing about him, you’re honoring his memory, bringing him back into the atmosphere.

From one who cherished a grandparent to another, I felt this.

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Beautifully touching. Also deep:

"The longer I live, more I go through, the more I put flexibility on my memories. Make em what I need em to be."

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Thanks for taking some time out to read my reflection, Dave. He really meant a lot to me. Sometimes you don’t know how important someone is in your life until they’re gone. I wish, as a boy, I’d have had more awareness to ask questions I’ll never have the chance to ask.

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lovely, roman.

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